A Small Coffee Shop...

The King’s Coffee is more than just a caffeinated beverage. It’s a culture. In a world where Red Bull and Monster energy drinks get people their caffeine drug fix or where Starbucks serves up sugar comas by the environmentally-friendly disposable cup, coffee seems to have lost the fine traditions and culture that have surrounded it in its long history. But not here.

Here, there is inspiration. The rustic and uniquely librarian feel to the shop encourages the next great idea, whether you’re a student cramming for a test, an entrepreneur talking over the next big thing with your business partners, or even just a part-time philosopher like me. Building on centuries of coffee tradition, we believe that the coffee house is a source of intellectual discussion, break-through ideas, and the search for truth. From handcrafted wooden tables to our old-fashioned library, the contemplative atmosphere of The King’s Coffee encourages adventure into uncharted ideas. Literary classics can be removed from the library shelves and perused while you sip your coffee or even purchased before you go.

If you will be staying with us as you enjoy your coffee, you can select your favorite, unique coffee mug from our Wall of Mugs. No two mugs are exactly the same and each one has been handcrafted to create a unique experience with each visit to our shop. When you’re finished with the mug, you may either return it or purchase it at the register. If you choose to purchase, know that it is the only one exactly like it and no duplicate will ever be crafted. The uniqueness of your experience at The King’s Coffee is ultimately the measure of our success to create an inspirational and intellectual prolific atmosphere. Though we do also offer to-go cups and lids, we encourage our patrons to enjoy the quiet and thought-provoking atmosphere of the shop.

As much as coffee is a stimulant of the intellectual exercises, we believe that it unlocks the artist in all of us. The walls of the shop are adorned with beautiful artistic originals from local artists to create a perpetual art show for our patrons. Art may also be purchased off the wall and new works will be rotated in as they are received for display. The finer arts will permeate the audible surroundings as well, exhibiting only the finest classical music selections.

Finally, the coffee itself will reflect all of the values inherent to the mission of The King’s Coffee. All of our beans are roasted to perfection on site, treated with the highest care to ensure freshness and quality. Coffee is freshly ground to ensure that your cup of coffee is handed to you in prime flavor. Temperatures of brewed coffee are monitored to prevent coffee from burning and becoming bitter, and only the purest quality spring water is used.

So step into The King’s Coffee and revitalize your intellectual inspiration with a mug or two of our fine coffee!

The Culture of Coffee

This post is a portion of a larger untitled work in progress...

I love coffee. Since I was a boy, studying for the Advanced Placement Physics test in high school, my affection for this drink has known no bounds. Through college, it was the muse to my philosophical meanderings and stimulated both thoughtful and humorous conversations between my friends and myself. And in the working world, I greet it every day as the encouragement to welcome both the blessings and challenges of that day, yet to come.

In the past, I have often been accused of “coffee snobbery”. I prefer the term, coffee connoisseur. This term suggests that I respect the history and traditions surrounding coffee, whereas the former term implies that I arrogantly abuse my knowledge of coffee to compensate for my own lack of, shall we say, “beans.” I assure the reader: that is not the case.

As an example of my respect for the traditions surrounding coffee, I bring to your attention a misnomer regarding coffee proper in our culture. When you ask a friend to grab a cup of coffee with you, what you really mean is to grab a latte, an Americano, a mocha, or, saints preserve us, a “frappuccino”. It is very rare that I find myself sitting in a coffeehouse with a cup of freshly-brewed traditional black coffee before me. The above mentioned beverages are actually espresso blends, not made from traditional drip coffee makers.

Though I will be the first to agree that espresso possesses a rich, poignant flavor to it that is not found in regular coffee, it is a dainty European beverage. To me, it is the drink of the high-class and wealthy.  With their menu consisting of either overpriced espresso drinks or “freshly brewed coffee”, your next visit to the nearest Starbucks will either leave you with a small fortune missing from your wallet or a simultaneous regurgitation and loss of bowel control.

While I mention Starbucks, I would be remiss if I refrained from expressing my disdain for the establishment. They either fleece you or they “release” you. But I have disputes with Starbucks on crimes against the culture of coffee.

Starbucks has commercialized the coffeehouse. With their political awareness and patented coffee cup and heat sleeve design, they have infringed upon the peace and warmth that was once the local coffee shop. Starbucks has driven out the truly conscious and thoughtful people and made the coffeehouse into a rabble house of mindless, unimaginative pretenders. It is now considered “trendy” to drink Starbucks coffee, to hold the branded, recycled cup and carry it as a symbol of status, long after the liquid essence is gone. I once asked a man that I knew was a regular Starbucks coffee drinker why he preferred Starbucks coffee.

"It's because I'm sold on the brand." he grinned.

If I manufactured, packaged, and marketed mediocrity, despair, and misery in a buy-one-get-two-free combo pack, would you buy that too?

Among the throngs of people, there is something lonely about sitting in a Starbucks, knowing that maybe a few blocks away, there is another one, exactly like it. There is nothing unique about where you are sitting at this moment. For centuries, coffeehouses have been the source of inspiration for writers, actors, inventors, scientists, and every other occupation. And when one is sitting in a commonplace room that has been replicated in other locations a thousand times over, with overpriced, bitter hot water, and the noisy, zombie rabble, inspiration is very hard to find. I have achieved no manner of peace sitting in a Starbucks.

However, for me, the culture and traditions of coffee are alive wherever I call home. In fact, coffee has become a necessary part of my home. To many, this may sound radical, but coffee has been as integral a part of my history as it has been in all human history. Although the worldly pleasures of drugs, sex, and alcohol beckon temptingly, coffee is my innocent release. It is a necessity to maintain a caffeine habit for many, but I have no habit to maintain. It is just second nature.

The true traditional roots of coffee lie in its reputation as the drink of the working man. It has become a great American tradition in the workplace. Many people consider it just a caffeine fix, but I am sure that those same people would not substitute it with an energy drink. They do not drink it simply for its utility. It is an organic and wholesome stimulant.

Coffee is an agent of relaxation, taste and smell. I would wager that nearly everyone that has experienced the smell of coffee has wanted their kitchen to perpetually smell like a coffeehouse. You imagine yourself just breathing in that toasty aroma every day and feeling comfort. It slows your breathing to a relaxed rhythm; your days begin and end with that calming scent.

In my own experience, coffee stimulates social, intelligent conversation in a leisurely setting. As the smell and taste encourage relaxation, coffee is a catalyst for creating a comfortable atmosphere where friends can come to discuss their thoughts and opinions. Were I ever to become a philosophy teacher, I would have enough coffee in my classroom to give to my students. It turns what could be a boring, uninteresting college requirement lecture into an energetic exchange of ideas, a true search for the truth and right understanding. I could be wrong about this strategy, but at least none of my students would ever fall asleep in class.

Speaking of sleep, I frequently enjoy coffee while listening to classical music. Some might say that there is no other way to listen to classical music without falling asleep from boredom, but they are wrong. There is a true fittingness to this combination.

As mentioned in the previous paragraphs, coffee is an intellectual beverage. Scientifically, the caffeine in coffee increases the effectiveness of nervous impulses in the body, making you more alert and quicker to absorb information. Smell, flavor, and chemical composition combine to create an atmosphere of scholarly expedition.

Classical music, as well, is an intellectual experience. If you have not heard of the “Mozart Effect”, look it up. For at least two decades, classical music has been a hot topic in developmental psychology as to whether or not it makes one smarter, more intelligent, or whatever terms they have created to describe the phenomenon. Most people I have spoken with say that they listen to classical music primarily while they are studying… or trying to fall asleep, unfortunately, that was the runner-up usage. Either way, it proves, at least to me, that classical music at least allows one to focus their intellectual efforts and drive out distractions. Combined, coffee stimulates the mind without assaulting it, while classical music stimulates the senses without overloading them. They strike the perfect balance for intellectual pursuits, of which I am very fond.

To conclude, coffee has a long tradition. I do not believe that I invented it; I would not be nearly clever enough to pull that off. But there is a deep integrity and culture behind the simple mug of hot coffee that can be enjoyed in the peace and quiet of the little coffee shop on the corner. With the first sip of the day, you sigh and smile, and it almost sounds like someone nearby is playing the “Morning” piece from Grieg’s Peer Gynt Suite just for you.

My History of Coffee

This post is a portion of a larger untitled work in progress...


When birthday or Christmas time rolls around, people ask me for gift ideas for me. Typically, I don’t appreciate this question because that spoils all the fun of getting someone a gift. But I play along anyway. What I usually say is very simply, “Coffee.” I get a laugh or two and then they ask me what I really want for my birthday.

This puzzles me. I just told them. Coffee.

People that don’t know me very well seem not to take that answer seriously. Wait, was I being serious? Was I really talking about the beverage that everybody makes, half-asleep, a couple minutes after dragging themselves out of bed in the morning? Was I actually referring to the chewable, black tar that the bushy-mustached old man makes at the office, referring to it as a “cup of Joe” when it would be more accurate to refer to it as a “cup of– wait a second… is this dirt”? Was I speaking about the beverage that represents just a "caffeine fix", as easily replaceable by Red Bull, Monster, or RockStar?  Oddly enough, coffee is not my source for a caffeine fix.

Coffee is a source for spiritual experiences.

Kaldi, son of Aldi

Given to mankind from the Mug of God himself, coffee has a long and hallowed history. Originating in Ethiopia in the 9th century and discovered by Kaldi, son of Aldi (who himself was the successful founder of a global discount supermarket chain), the drink quickly became known for its healing powers and use in religious ceremonies. It was adopted by many Middle Eastern countries and became a staple as a drink of the Muslim world. Despite the success of the drink in the immediate area, the Islamic nations withheld trade to the Western and Far Eastern countries.

It was not until the early 12th century when Saint Drogo, blessed by the Lord with the ability to bilocate, was able to liberate the bean covertly from the Middle East’s grip and brought it to Italy, thereby earning the title of “patron saint of coffee and coffeehouses”. Unfortunately, the Christian world was not yet prepared to accept the strange brew from the Muslim world. But in 1600, Pope Clement the VIII proclaimed that the drink be made available to all Christians, declaring, “Non magis excusat desideraturus mane Missam!” The western world was ecstatic, blessing God for his infinite goodness and generosity.

The Boston Coffee Party of 1773

Since then, nations all around the world began to discover the black and life-giving treasure. In America before the Revolutionary War, the King of England had laid a heavy tax on tea, prompting the colonial peoples to import coffee as a substitute. After tasting the first arrival of the new beverage, they were astonished at the superior taste and tossed all of the British-imported tea into Boston harbor in celebration. The event was erroneously misnamed because the drink of choice at the ensuing party was in fact coffee, making it accurately known as the “Boston Coffee Party”.

In the early 19th century, Napoleon Bonaparte sought to invade and conquer Russia. Despite the Russian’s “scorched earth” tactics, the French army was resolute on entering Moscow. Although two thirds of Moscow lay burned upon their arrival, it was not the ruin and spoil of their prize that disheartened the Emperor of France: the Russians did not have any coffee in the city . Unable to devise a strategy to survive the bitter Russian winter without the soul-warming brew, Napoleon sounded the retreat and his army limped back to France, discouraged, defeated, and de-caffeinated.

Without coffee, Thomas Edison’s 10,000 attempts to invent the light bulb would have been impossible to accomplish during the long days and endless nights of work. Without coffee, Ward Cleaver would have woken up every morning to the sound of Beaver’s voice without the character-fortifying agent that restrains the disciplining backhand. And without coffee, countless research papers and final projects would have lay in ruins before procrastinating student.

Every culture, every land, throughout all of human history, has benefited from this wonderful beverage. If fresh, it is sweet to taste and refreshing to the mind. Though truly fresh coffee is difficult to obtain, roasts abound that harness the power of the bean and still yield not to bitterness.

A Few Things You Didn't Know About Your Passwords

Passwords are used in email accounts, online shopping, social networking sites, online banking, etc. They, and other methods of authentication, are used to protect information available on the world wide web from unauthorized viewing. However, many people have relatively simple and insecure passwords that might not stand up to the various password attacks that malicious user are capable of. Among these attacks are brute force, dictionary, and hybrid.

Brute Force Attack

A brute force attack is a method of password cracking that tries every possible combination for a password. To illustrate, a brute force cracking software may begin cracking a password with the the following: a. Then, it might try, b. Then, c. (I'm sure you can see where this is going) A brute force attack will simply mindlessly go down a list of characters and enter those as guesses.Once it exhausts all possible one-character passwords, it moves to two character passwords (i.e., aa, ab, ac, ad, etc....). There is a significantly larger number of possible two-character password combinations than there are one-character password combinations. This additional length makes it more secure. This can be, by far the most time-consuming password attack, but given enough time, it will eventually succeed. 

Dictionary Attack

A dictionary attack uses a word list to crack passwords. The software references the words in the list to form its guesses. (i.e. dog, cat, bear, etc.) Often, some dictionary attack software will be able to append random numbers or symbols before or after dictionary words, thus making passwords like coffee22 a very weak password if the word coffee is in the attackers word list. Often, these word lists are not user-generated, giving them the potential to be very large and extremely exhaustive. Regardless of whether the words in a given password are obscure or not, it is highly likely that it is contained somewhere in an attacker's word list.

Hybrid Attack

A hybrid attack combines the use of dictionary words and symbols to allow for the replacement of certain letters with symbols. This attack is very helpful against passwords written in "l33t speak". An example of a l33t speak password is the following: k!ngsc0ff33. Certain letters have been replaced by either a number or a symbol so that an actual word is not formed, thus defeating a simple dictionary attack. However, hybrid attack software has the ability to take a dictionary word list and make numero-symbolic replacements of particular letters: 3 for e or E, @ for a or A, 1 or ! for i/I or l/L, and so on. This makes the above-mentioned password example very susceptible to cracking.

How to create a secure password

First, a secure password must have a proper length. It is recommended that your password consist of at least 8 characters. Assuming that your password is properly complex enough (such that dictionary and hybrid attacks are impossible), a 8-character password can take up to 11 yrs to crack (assuming that the cracking software takes into account all 26 letters, both upper and lower case, 0-9, and basic punctuation). This number, of course, changes depending on how many computers are working together to crack the password, but even with 50 computers at at 2,800,000 passwords attempts a second, it still would take up to 75 days to crack the password. And typical password-changing policies recommend at the most 60-day password changes, so your password might very well get changed before the attacker has a chance to crack your password.

In addition, dictionary words and dictionary words written in l33t speak are highly discouraged. It is recommended that you include numbers and punctuation in your password, but not as replacements for letters in a word. Instead, it it best to use them sporadically in a password to make it more complex and less susceptible to dictionary/hybrid attacks.

With all this talk about security, it is easy to forget about the need for a password to be memorable so it's not forgotten. Although increasing the character length above 8 characters will make the password more difficult to brute force, it often is unnecessary (and in the case that the password is 14 characters worth of dictionary words, this will be defenseless against a dictionary attack). So, 8 characters will do the trick.

Here's an example of how to form secure, but memorable passwords.

ilcvm (I begin with a memorable word or short phrase; acronyms can also be helpful; this one stands for "i love coffee very much")

IlcVM (I make some of the letters uppercase; this is made memorable because the acronym would appear as "I love coffee VERY MUCH")

IlcVM11 (include some numbers such as your favorite number)

&IlcVM11 (add punctuation)

Creating a final password of : &IlcVM11. The only way this password is going to get cracked is by using the brute force method, which will take a very long time to crack.

Now go change your password and secure your data!!

College Life: A Survival Guide

It's been over a year since I've graduated college and having lived in the real world for some time now, I've realized what lifestyle practices have served me well and which I could probably have used a do-over on. These are just a few lessons I learned that illustrate this (some humorous, some serious):

1. Don't drink from the Tupperware bin
Whatever is in it, it doesn't concern you. Either there's not enough alcohol in it to make a difference (because your host was cheap) or there's too much alcohol in it for you to handle (because your host wants to get you plastered) or that guy who just did a keg stand got sick and couldn't make it to the toilet... Any way you look at it, drinking from open containers at a social gathering of complete strangers is a poor idea.

2. Go to class
As you begin to pay loans, typically 6 months after you graduate, you'll begin to realize how much of that money you paid to sleep in, take an extended lunch break by playing Halo or Call of Duty, or start the weekend festivities 3 hours early. You might hate that philosophy class at 8:30 MWF, but trust me, going to that class and learning something will make the burden of paying off your student loans more bearable. And who knows: your 5-year highschool reunion trivia contest might consist of identifying the author of the phrase "Cogito, ergo sum". Just imagine the bragging rights....

3. Get involved
Join a club, perform community service, play intramural sports/go to a college sporting event, or explore the various social opportunities offered by your university/college. If you graduate and the only change in scenery was the venue of this weekend's slosh-fest or the variations in the mess of your dorm room, you'll have missed an excellent opportunity to get in the habit of trying new things and being a true risk-taker. By not going to the parties, you will try most things that people don't dare to think possible on a weekend evening, such as, actually having a good time.

The Basilica of the Sacred Heard [left] and the Golden Dome [right] at the University of Notre Dame

4. "Beer Before Liquor Only Makes You Sicker"
I've suddenly forgotten why I know this one...

5. Exercise and eat well
This is difficult depending on your major and where you go to school. As a physics-philosophy major at the University of Notre Dame (with one of the best food services in the country), it was easy to not exercise much (because of all the homework associated with my majors) and eat poorly (because of the ready availability of so much good-tasting, unhealthy food). Also, watch how much you drink because alcoholic beverages are full of all sorts of fattening carbs/sugars/etc. The "Freshman-15" is not a joke. I gained it while running varsity track and field at St. Louis University (granted, the food was awful there). It's real.

6. Coffee is your friend
None of the sugar from "energy drinks", all of the caffeine, and it's good for you! For those late study nights, cramming for organic chemistry or as an excuse for a social outing, coffee is wholesome and fun!

7. Get a head start on good habits

No matter who you are, college is a crucial time in your life. Odds are, you are away from home or you are spending a substantial amount of time without parental supervision/guidance. I love my parents and I considered this aspect of college to be a particularly awesome thing. This is because I've always looked up to my parents and I want to be just like them some day. The first step to doing this, however, is to actively seek to develop good practices and habits. What you do with the first few years of your freedom will help you (or haunt you) for the rest of your life. And I think that's really the best piece of advice I can give in this post, so I'll end with that.

The Perfect Cup of Coffee

This blog title would be wholly misleading unless I wrote something on coffee.

Sundays are typically my favorite day of the week for several reasons. It is the Lord's day, so it's good to begin with the Holy Mass and then catch up on some much needed prayer and spiritual reading. Also, because it is the Lord's day, I get to take a break from work (and who says that God is not good?). There's always some kind of good intellectual reading I can do, which has been good ever since I've graduated because I enjoy intellectual stimulation. I'm also able to indulge in my love for classical music while I read. 

But although each of these things are important to a peaceful Sunday, I might venture to say that aside from Mass and prayer/rest, the most important part of the day is the first cup of coffee. Coffee can mean alot of things to different people, but for me, it's very special and probably something I will address in another blog post. For now, I would like to share my experience and thoughts on how to make a perfect cup of coffee.

First thing I should say about coffee is that I am describing homemade coffee. Those who know me (and those who don't find out anyway) know that I am not a big coffeehouse guy. And the more commercial the coffeehouse is (i.e. Starbucks; I'm just going to make no bones about it here), the more I dislike it. I don't believe that all coffeehouse coffee is rubbish, but in my opinion, nothing beats a good homemade pot of coffee. So I'm not referring to your cafe dolce latte with double shots of espresso, low fat cream, and a little cherry on top; I'm talking about coffee as the every-man's beverage.

What's Bad for Coffee

Among the things that are bad for coffee include exposure to extreme temperatures (hot or cold), moisture, air (particularly the oxygen in the air), and light. As a result, the key to brewing the perfect cup of coffee is to avoid these things. Don't store your coffee in the freezer or in a sauna. Also, don't remove it from its original darkened, opaque container only to put it in a clear glass jar, simply because it brings culture to your kitchen (I guess you could do that, just don't think you're ever going to serve it to guests). 

Beans vs. Grounds

There are pros and cons to both. My preference has practically always been beans, whenever I can get them. The primary reason is because coffee stays fresher, longer as a bean as opposed to a being in ground form. This is because as a bean, the coffee has less exposed surface area than grounds do. If a coffee bean has approximately 1 cm squared surface area and a ground coffee bean, depending on the fineness of the grind, has a surface area of 157 cm squared, that's an increased surface area of nearly 15,000%(!) So why do we care about surface area? An increased surface area means that the points of contact for the elements listed in the previous section also increases (more surface area means more contact with oxygen, for example). Also, depending on how long you grind your beans for, you get to control how fine the ground is, per your preferences. 

However, the cons to using beans include waking roommates up when you grind your coffee (because it is noisy). In addition, you have to get a grinder, which can be relatively cheap, but it's just another "thing" you need to have for this, so it might not be convenient. As far as price difference goes, I'm not 100% sure what the comparison is. I get the feeling (step back) that you get more grounds for your money than you get beans. But that might just be me.

Brand

The best kind of coffee is foreign coffee. I've had Brazilian coffee, Venezuelan coffee, and Hawaiian coffee. My favorite was definitely Brazilian because of the fine ground and the sweet taste (yes, fresh coffee actually tastes a little sweet; it's stale/burnt coffee that tastes bitter). With that being said, truly foreign coffee is incredibly difficult to get/is very expensive. If you do get it, I recommend getting it as whole beans and save it for special occasions such as Christmas or Easter morning or whenever you have company over. As previously stated, the beans will stay fresh longer and that's what you need for good coffee that you'll only have on occasion.

Aside from the rare treat of foreign coffee, my favorite coffee brand is Stewarts. Based in Chicago, they take beans from around the world and create blends of grounds/beans for a smooth and wholesome cup of coffee. This coffee is not bitter in the slightest, which is one of my favorite qualities about it. I've only ever seen grounds in stores, but I know they sell whole beans from their website, so unless you want to order online, you're kinda stuck with grounds. My second favorite thing about Stewarts is that it is one of the only cups of coffee I've had that taste great when it's cold. To me, that's the ultimate test of a good coffee. With most coffees, alot of the flavor is passed over when you're trying to keep a hot cup from scalding the inside of your mouth. But when the cup cools, it tastes awful. Stewarts, however, actually tastes pleasant and still very smooth when cold, allowing you to finish that cup instead of throwing it out and refilling your cup with more hot coffee. 

For St. Louise-ans, I recommend Thomas. It shares all the major good qualities of Stewarts (namely the smoothness and the retainment of taste when room-temp) and it's a local business in St. Louis. Also, it does come locally in bean form. The only draw-back to these two brands is that they are fairly expensive. If you're short on cash, the standard Maxwell House or Folgers will do the trick for reasons explained in the next paragraph.

Water

If I'm honest, your pot of coffee is really only as good as your water you make it with. All talk about brands aside (that comes down to personal preference, anyway), it's objectively true that you're not going to have a good pot of coffee if you're using bad water. Luckily for me, St. Louis has the best-tasting tap water of any major city in the country. However, I know for alot of places (especially South Bend, IN), the local water is terrible. Icky water is bad for two reasons. First, it makes your coffee taste bad. Second, depending on what's in your water, it can destroy your coffee maker by causing buildups in the piping. As the coffee maker pumps the water from the reservoir into the filtering basket, it heats it up and some of the water evaporates, becoming steam. The minerals dissolved in the water, however, do not all evaporate and instead build up in the plumbing of the coffee maker. Unfortunately, the only way to get rid of this build up is to either run vinegar through your coffee maker (a smelly and time-consuming process) or throw the coffee maker out entirely and purchase a new one.

If you have poor water quality, you can either purchase bottled water in gallon jugs or use a water purifier. Having used both, I believe that a water purifier is more convenient and possibly cheaper in the long run. Instead of storing gallon-sized jugs around your house or dorm room, you just store small filters for the water-purifier. Or if you'd like to get a water purifier for your sink tap (a bit more expensive), that works also.

Brewing

From my experience, it doesn't really matter what quality of maker you use. I've only ever gotten the $20, simple-function coffee makers, so I may be wrong. But those have always suited my needs just fine. Other than that, there's really not much to say about brewing. Just make sure you don't leave the maker on for too long, otherwise it'll burn the coffee, especially when there's not much left in the pot. If you're concerned about burnage, after the coffee is finished brewing, you can position the coffee pot slightly askew to limit the amount of contact between the pot and the heating element (see pictured). This'll keep the coffee warm, but eliminate burning.

Conclusion

Anyone can have a good homemade cup of coffee and for an economical price too. Don't pay an arm and a leg and your first-born child for a caffe latte dulco macchiato over-priceo sugarwater-o americano at Starbucks (and please don't pay a dime for their "freshly-brewed coffee"). Make it yourself!

A Guide to Making Friends, Pt. 1

Let me begin by saying that I am woefully unqualified to write a post on this topic. It's only been in the last year or two that I've begun to really think seriously about how one goes about making friends. But since I have returned to my hometown and in search of friends, I've been thinking about how I've made friends in the past, so I feel these are thoughts worth sharing.

1. Go to where people are

We all have our comfort zones. And we all know where we wish we could find friends. But certain locations attract particular value types. A club will mostly attract people who want to drink and just dance ("da da da doo doo..."). A political rally will draw people interested in politics. A service project will attract people who have a desire to help the needy. This requires a bit of soul-searching: you have to determine what kind of person you really want to be because your friends will contribute to some degree in making you that person.

2. Seek dialogue, not monologue

Most people I know don't have a problem with this. I write it because until relatively recently, I did. As is characteristic of every member of my family, I have an opinion on practically everything, and if a brand new topic is posed to me that I don't immediately have an opinion on, I make one up and hold it until it is unfashionable to hold it any longer. As a result, I monologued (and it certainly wasn't Shakespearean). There needs to be an even tug-of-war between two people. You should be able to bounce conversation points off one another and notice yourself considering the point being made by the person you're trying to befriend before you come up with what you will say next. 

3. Listen to what people are passionate about

Once I got dialoging down, this was my next challenge. My passion is philosophy and I could never get enough of talking about it. Some of my friends were similarly passionate on that topic, but many were relatively indifferent. What I have found to be more gratifying is to discover what makes a person tick; what passion drives them. And more often than not, it's something I can engage them on. This goes hand-in-hand with point No. 1, "Go to where people are". 

4. Form a personal relationship through one-on-one interaction

Both extroverts and introverts can get this wrong. Extroverts can claim the attention of a group of people and be satisfied with being the center-of-attention and introverts can retreat to the corner of a room, at least figuratively, and allow others to command the attention in a group. Neither is bad, but both miss the point of building friendship. The extrovert problem is that everybody yearns for personal attention. A girl doesn't like to receive the same amount of attention from a guy as all the other girls do from him. If she likes him, she wants more personal attention. (and the same goes for the other-way-around) And I firmly believe this applies to friendships between members of the same sex as well. So although you might be the king of the group, you must personally engage each person with whom you wish to befriend. The introvert problem is that their comfort with their own thoughts can render them immobile to that necessary personal contact. A concerted effort must be made to interact exclusively.

5. Generosity

The reason for this being last is because this is the key. Generosity is contagious. And it is good for the soul. It teaches you to come out of yourself and see the hopes and desires of someone else. This is the crowning friendship "virtue" because it is critical to the proper practice of the other four. If you do not have a generous comfort-zone, you won't go to those places where people are. If you're not generous with the topic of conversation, you will monologue and you won't be interested in what people are passionate about. Generosity is pivotal to building a strong personal relationship because you have devoted all your time and attention to one person. All these things contribute to strong personal friendships. 

"No one would choose a friendless existence on condition of having all the other things in the world." - Aristotle